How to Spot Unhealthy Perfectionism and Support Your Athlete’s Mental Health

While youth sports offer kids amazing benefits—like confidence, teamwork, and physical activity—they can also come with pressure, stress, and anxiety when played in a negative environment. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, many student-athletes face mental health challenges like anxiety and unhealthy perfectionism. As parents and coaches, you play a key role in supporting the whole athlete— not just their physical skills, but their mental and emotional well-being. Below are the signs of unhealthy perfectionism and how to support your athlete so they have a positive youth sports experience.

Spot the Signs of Unhealthy Perfectionism: 

One of the main reasons kids play sports is to learn something new and improve their skills while having fun, but perfectionism can creep in when they start to fear mistakes or feel like they’re never “good enough.”

Signs of unhealthy perfectionism:

• Avoiding challenges or trying new things
• Getting overly upset over small mistakes
• Being overly sensitive or defensive to feedback
• Giving up or procrastinating
• Dismissing their accomplishments

Keep an eye out for these signs. If they pop up consistently, it may be time to adjust expectations and refocus on the enjoyment, effort, and growth that sports provide.

Tips for Parents:

If your kids are experiencing any signs of unhealthy perfectionism or negativity towards their performance, here are three things you can do to encourage them and provide support.

1. Celebrate the Effort, Not Just the Outcome

Ask questions like “What did you enjoy today?” or “What did you learn at practice?” instead of “Did you win?” Recognizing your child’s effort, attitude, and progress builds confidence and motivation—without the pressure to be perfect.

2. Talk About Nerves—and Normalize Them

It’s normal for kids to feel anxious and nervous before a game or tryout. Let them know those feelings are valid and manageable. Be vulnerable and share times when you get nervous or anxious. Being nervous or anxious just means that you care about whatever you’re doing!

3. Be a Safe Space

Keep the lines of communication open. Ask open-ended questions and listen without rushing to solve the problem. Ask your child how they are feeling before a practice or game; this helps them start to identify and process their feelings and emotions. 

Tips for Coaches:

As a coach, it’s up to you to create a positive environment for youth athletes. Here are three things you can do to make sure your athletes are growing and enjoying the game. After all, you want them to come back next season!

1. Set Individual Goals

Not every athlete will be the top scorer—and that’s okay. Encourage kids to set personal goals, like improving their passing or staying positive during tough plays. Take some time before games and have athletes identify their goals. Encourage them to focus on the process (giving their best effort, executing their pre-shot routine) vs. outcomes (winning or scoring a goal). 

2. Balance Feedback with Encouragement

Kids learn best when they feel supported. Focus your coaching on the positives such as what they did well, one thing to improve, and encourage them to keep trying. As a coach, you should want every kid to come back next season- keeping things fun and positive is the best recipe to keep kids playing. 

3. Build Team Connection

A supportive team culture reduces pressure and builds belonging. Praise teamwork, kindness, and leadership just as much as scoring. Ending each practice and game with a cheer, secret handshake, or a shout-out circle are great ways to build connections between players. 

Your child’s experience in youth sports depends on many different factors. Ultimately, it’s up to coaches, parents, and youth sports organizations to work together and make their experience a positive one that makes kids want to keep playing. 

Find A Positive Youth Sports Experience

At i9 Sports^®, we know that great experiences in youth sports come from more than just skills and scores. When kids feel supported, encouraged, and free to be themselves, they grow into not only better athletes but more resilient people. 

 Our youth sports leagues, camps, and clinics are designed to be a safe, supportive, and empowering place for every player at every stage. When you choose to play with i9 Sports^®, you get coaches that teach sportsmanship values such as leadership and respect alongside age-appropriate skills. This keeps the focus on learning and growth versus perfectionism.

Choose a fun and positive youth sports experience— find an i9 Sports^® program near you and sign up today!