One of the most valuable lessons young athletes can learn in youth sports is how to fail. While it may sound counterintuitive, failure is among the best teachers. Failure in sports can mean mistakes, missed opportunities, or losing games. As coaches and parents, we should teach young athletes not to fear failure, but to embrace these moments. Encourage young athletes to see moments of failure as growth opportunities.
Mistakes are an inherent part of learning. Coaches should actively reinforce the idea that errors are expected and part of the process. A simple phrase like, “Mistakes are how we learn,” can shift a young athlete’s mindset from fear to curiosity.
Coaches and parents should focus on praising effort rather than outcomes. For instance, if a player misses a shot but makes a great attempt, recognize the decision-making, positioning, or technique behind the action. This reinforces the idea that improvement is the goal, not perfection.
Integrate drills where making mistakes is inevitable. For example, in soccer, small-sided games with limited touches force players to make quicker decisions, which often leads to mistakes. The more comfortable athletes become in these high-pressure, mistake-laden situations, the more they will adapt, learn, and improve.
After a game or practice, rather than glossing over mistakes or being overly critical, use them as teaching moments. Ask questions like, “What would you do differently next time?” or “What did you learn from that play?” These questions foster reflection and personal responsibility.
Parents play a critical role in helping young athletes embrace failure. Here are some ways to reinforce this positive approach at home:
Instead of focusing on wins or losses, talk about the progress made and the effort your child puts into their sport. Ask questions like, “What did you work the hardest at today?” or “What did you learn from missing that shot?”
Be mindful of placing pressure on your child to be perfect. Instead, remind them that even professional athletes make mistakes — it’s what they learn from the mistake that matters.
After a tough game or practice, point out something positive that came from a mistake. Help your child see failure as a normal and necessary part of their journey as an athlete.
Research consistently shows that learning how to cope with failure is crucial for long-term success, not just in sports but in life. A study from the American Academy of Pediatrics found that children who engage in sports are better at handling adversity and developing critical coping skills. When athletes are given space to fail in sports, they build resilience, problem-solving abilities, and confidence.
For youth sports coaches and parents alike, embracing mistakes is key to fostering an environment where young athletes can truly thrive. When we teach athletes not to fear failure, they become less afraid to try the more difficult move or play. For example, if a basketball player is afraid to miss a shot, she likely isn’t going to attempt many three pointers. If we encourage her to try instead of punishing her with laps for missing a few times, she will be more motivated to practice the shot until she gets better and eventually she can make those three pointers in a game under pressure.
Failure teaches kids to be resilient, to problem-solve, and to believe that improvement is always possible. In the end, the goal of youth sports should not just be to win games, but to develop strong confident individuals. By shifting our focus from avoiding mistakes to embracing them, we can help our athletes succeed both on and off the field.
Tyler is responsible for creating and implementing national training programs for coaches and over 240 franchisees to achieve the company’s mission to help kids succeed in life through sports.
Tyler grew up in Modesto, California, playing baseball, basketball and football from the age of 5. Sports have always been at the center of his life and have been something that he has dedicated his life to making a positive impact in.
He discovered his passion - supporting coaches to ensure they can provide a quality sport experience to the athletes that they coach during his education at California State University, Fresno. He earned his Master of Arts in Kinesiology – Sport Psychology and his Bachelor of Arts in Political Science with a Minor in Sport Coaching from California State University, Fresno.
After graduating, Tyler spent a year in New Zealand and Australia, where he studied and participated in the two countries’ sport environments, athlete development systems, and coaching models.
After his travels, he joined the United States Olympic and Paralympic Committee’s (USOPC) Coaching Education Department as the American Development Model and Youth Development fellow. Tyler was able to collaborate and coordinate sport development projects with several National Governing Bodies and assist the Coaching Education team with creating and updating resources related to coach training and the American Development Model.
Tyler continued to consult with the USOPC on initiatives related to the American Development Model the Quality Coaching Framework and ultimately, developed an online course, Foundations of the American Development Model. In 2020, he accepted a position with USA Football as the Senior Manager of Coach Education.
During his three years there, he was able to redesign the organization’s coach education certification, which led to USA Football achieving its’ one millionth coach certification in 2022. Tyler has coached football, baseball, and basketball at all levels of sport (recreational, scholastic, national, and international) throughout his life and is passionate about giving back to the communities in which he has lived.
Presentations and Awards:
College of Health and Human Services- Outstanding Project Award
Presented graduate project at the 39th Annual Central California Research Symposium
Olympic & Paralympic Coach Magazine Spring 2020- ADM & Me: Insights in Learning from my USOPC Fellowship
Presented at the USA Football National Conference 2020
Presented at the National Post Olympic and Paralympic Conference of Sport & Science at the Wingate Institute in Israel
What Does Fun Look Like? - Interview with Athlete Era