The Best Dad Jokes for Kids

It’s no secret that “dad jokes” have some of the best one liners. Use our favorite dad jokes below to impress others with your comedy skills.

Our Favorite Dad Jokes

Do you know the strongest day of the week?

Saturday or Sunday… the others are weekdays.

How Much did the pirate pay to get his ear pierced?

A Buck-An-Ear

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

When does a joke become a “dad joke?”

When it becomes apparent.

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?

A chew-chew train

Why do nurses always carry a red crayon

In case they need to draw blood.

What do you call a cow with only three legs?

Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

I love telling Dad jokes.

Sometimes, he even laughs.

What did one hat say to the other?

Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

What is a skeleton’s favorite form of measurement?


My wife asked if I saw the dog bowl...

I said I didn’t know he could.

I was just telling someone about dried grapes.

It was about raisin awareness.

Son: Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?

Dad: No, have you seen my dad glasses?

Sports Themed Dad Jokes

Where do catchers sit at lunch?

Behind the plate.

Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?

Forget it. It’s way over your head.

What does the football coach want from the vending machine?

He wants his quarter back

Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?

They aren’t allowed to travel.

Why do basketball players like cookies?

Because they can dunk them!

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?


What is something you can serve, but never eat?

A volleyball!

A coach with his soccer team holding their trophies in the air. Title reads "The very best dad jokes compilation."