4 Reasons Toxic Coaching is Out and Positive Coaching is In

Many parents believe that a good coach should be abrasive in order to “toughen kids up.” They may picture someone shouting and pacing the sidelines, talking down to players, punishing errors with humiliation or laps, or arguing with officials every play. These actions contribute to an overall toxic playing environment and coaching style. This style of coaching isn’t necessary or beneficial. Kids don’t need a coach who yells at them in order to improve, win, or become “tough,” mentally or physically. Research shows the opposite is actually true!

Not only do kids not need an abrasive coach, they don’t want one. Kids thrive when competition is paired with fun, encouragement, and respect. Great coaching isn’t about how loud you are, it’s about supporting athletes, building their confidence, and developing the person within the athlete. 

The takeaway? Toxic coaching is out, and positive coaching is in. Here are four reasons kids thrive under supportive coaches:

1. Kids Play Harder for Coaches Who Support Them

You were a child once, so for a moment, put yourself back in your childhood shoes. Think about your own experiences, not only in sports, but in school, or currently in your career. Do you thrive more when your boss is yelling and critiquing your work, or when you have a leader that supports you and challenges you in a positive way? Most adults don’t enjoy being talked down to or publicly belittled, so why would your children? 

According to the Journal of Sport Psychology, athletes who feel encouraged by their coach are more likely to give their best effort, improve over time, and stay in sports longer. Whereas, a harsh approach leads to frustration and burnout, pushing kids away from sports. If you want your kids to succeed in sports and in life, then it’s not a tougher coach they need, it’s support.

2. Calm Coaches Build Confident Players

Kids tend to “mirror” the adults they are surrounded by. If a coach is calm and positive, players are more likely to stay focused under pressure. Studies have shown, if a coach is negative or yelling, kids often freeze up or play scared. Confidence grows when mistakes are treated as part of the learning process, not as reasons to be scolded. Kids are more likely to take risks and try new things when they aren’t afraid to fail!

3. Healthy Competition—Where Fun and Competition Collide

Sometimes people think fun and competition don’t mix. But actually, they fuel each other! When kids enjoy what they’re doing, they naturally want to work harder and improve. 

The Journal of Physical Activity and Health shows that kids actually think competition is one of the best parts of playing sports. Whether they are competing against their peers or themselves, kids want to challenge themselves to reach new heights. But it’s the fun that keeps kids coming back, even when they lose. If a coach puts too much emphasis on winning, then the fun is lost, and kids lose the desire to keep playing. Healthy competition is competition with fun at the forefront, and the key to fostering a love for sports and physical activity.

4. Coaching Built on Respect Is the Real Winning Edge

A team built on respect, trust, and positivity doesn’t just play better together; it sticks together. The lessons kids learn from a supportive coach go far beyond the scoreboard. They learn resilience, teamwork, and the joy of pushing themselves to be their best. 

Competitive coaching doesn’t have to involve harsh or abrasive techniques. The research shows kids don’t need screaming to succeed; they need encouragement, guidance, and belief in their potential! When sports are fun and competitive, kids not only grow as athletes, they grow as people—and that’s the ultimate goal.