As parents we are the first and last youth coach our children will have. We gently coax them onto the field or court for the first time, the last time, and every time in between. This role that we play also gives us the power to help our kids get the most out of youth sports. Often times kids’ sports experiences have to do not only with the relationship they have with their coaches; but also how their parents interact with their coaches.

Research shows when parents support their children’s teachers, students learn more. The same can also be said about parents working together with coaches to create a more positive environment for kids involved in organized sports. Understanding and supporting the coach’s training methods sometimes may go against what we think is best.

It may be difficult to grasp, for example, why your daughter sits on the bench more than she plays. Or, why your son is asked to play midfield even though he is a good striker. Or, what I find especially hard to accept, why I can’t ‘coach’ my son from the sidelines.’ This was a particularly tough rule for me to accept. After all, we naturally want our children to succeed in all their endeavors so why wouldn’t we cheer them onward with some pointers along the way?

I couldn’t understand the coach’s philosophy until I witnessed an overzealous parent screaming at his son to make a play that was contrary to what the coach said to do. Clearly the kid was confused and frustrated: does he listen to his coach or his dad? Hence the email that was sent to all the parents that night requesting there be no more “sideline coaching”.

Realizing the coach has a difficult job—for which he/she is not being compensated for as it is a volunteer position—I decided to try and restrain myself from telling my kid what to do on the field. That IS the coach’s job after all. Our job as parents is to help our kids have a positive sporting experience. Here are some tips on how to do just that.

Recognize the Coach’s Commitment
Coaches’ involvement extends beyond practice and game day. They also spend many hours preparing strategies and training techniques…and they do it for free.
Make Early, Positive Contact with the Coach
Introduce yourself to your child’s coach after the very first practice and offer to help in any way you are qualified. Let him/her know you want to help your child have a great sports experience. Starting off on a good foot makes it easier to discuss any potential problem that may arise later.
Fill the Coach’s Emotional Tank
When you like something the coach is doing let him/her know. Usually parents talk to coaches only when they have a complaint. Some occasional positive reinforcement can work wonders.
Don’t Instruct During a Game or Practice
Your child is trying to focus on the game and do what the coach asks. If you’re yelling out instructions as well, your child winds up confused and pressured. Usually what you’re saying goes against the coach’s instruction, which then undermines the whole player-coach-parent relationship.
Don’t Put the Player in the Middle
When parents share their disapproval of a coach with their children it puts them in an awkward position. No one gets ahead in this situation. Supporting the coach makes it easier for your child to put forth their best effort. If you do have a problem take it up with the coach directly.
Observe a “Cooling Off” Period
If you find yourself getting hot under the collar about an incident wait 24 hours to cool off before speaking out. This way you can state your case in a positive rational manner without any regrets.

All of us at i9 Sports would like to take this opportunity to thank all of its coaches for giving up their spare time and working hard to help our kids have a positive sports experience.

Have you ever disagreed with something your child’s coach did? What was the situation? How did you resolve the issue?

Linde Hyder, i9 Sports Mom Blogger

You may also be interested in these other related blogs:

Should Courts Decide Who Wins?

Sideline Rage Remains a Growing Problem