Admittedly, I am your typical ‘soccer mom’. I drive an SUV filled with sports equipment and spectator chairs and is decorated with soccer ball paraphernalia. And, for some reason no amount of pine freshener can quite cover up the smell of sweaty socks and dirty cleats.
I don’t mind because my son loves to play and I truly enjoying watching him in ‘his element’. Although I always make it a point to tell him before each game, ‘have fun’, he has somehow developed a competitive spirit. You can just see it on his face, that look of fierce determination as he strives to defend the goal or shoot one in the net. And, don’t worry about losing track of the score – he can tell you exactly how many points each team has and who scored them.
At eight years old, my son has had his share of ‘boo-boos’, both on and off the playing field. I must confess in my struggle to raise a strong, persevering child I may have on occasion or two taken just a cursory glance at the ailment, and stated, it’s ok get back out there and play.’ There is a fine line between telling your child to ‘buck up’ and get back in the game and forcing your child to play despite a painful injury he or she may have.
Granted many of us parents would like our kids to pursue sports all the way through high school and onto college. But what is the real reason we start them in organized sports? Isn’t it to give them an outlet for all that excess energy they have as youngsters and give us a break if only for a short while? And, of course we want them to learn about good sportsmanship. Keeping them active, making them strong, and developing good habits about health and fitness are other benefits.
Sure, we love them and we want only the best for their future. But, isn’t our role also to protect them?
In his book “Until It Hurts: America’s Obsession with Youth Sports and How It Harms Our Kids”, Mark Hyman writes from personal experience about the dangers of pushing kids too hard. Hyman had unwittingly become the overzealous parent who found himself faced with the decision of whether his son should undergo a controversial surgical procedure to repair his overused pitching arm.
Interestingly, when left alone, kids know to stop playing when they feel hurt. Quite the opposite occurs when adults enter the picture as kids are more apt to risk injury in order to earn their parents’ praises. Weird, huh?
Hyman is quick to point out that it is not the presence of adults alone that is negatively impacting youth sports. According to Hyman, “…Training is too intense. Games are too pressurized. Demanding coaches and parents who expect their children to perform as stars and win college scholarships have taken the fun out of the games.” It is little wonder that young players—once exuberant to get in the game—lose their enthusiasm and drop the activity altogether.
Parents truly have to find the right balance between the combination of sports, education and family life. Not only can too much focus on athletics affect young athletes physically, it can potentially impact children mentally and emotionally in their constant struggle to please their parents. Granted, we want our children to succeed in all their endeavors. But first and foremost, it is our job to take care of our children, protect their futures and let them do what kids do best – have fun!
For more information on Mark Hyman’s book, please go to http://untilithurts.com.
Linde Hyder, i9 Sports Mom Blogger
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Six Ways to Keep Your Children Safe in Youth Sports
