It seems like every other sports-related news story these days is yet another example of athletes displaying a major lack of sportsmanship. In the past few weeks, we’ve seen the now infamous ‘ponytail pull’ by University of New Mexico women’s soccer player Elizabeth Lambert. (That wasn’t the only recent hair-pulling debacle, unfortunately. Oakland Raiders player Richard Seymour was fined a couple weeks earlier for pulling the mane of Denver Bronco’s tackle Ryan Clady). A few days later another women’s soccer incident occurred, this time at the high school level. This one occurred in the Rhode Island Interscholastic League and included a brawl that involved nine players that were eventually suspended, as well as a subsequent fracas that spilled over into the crowd. Earlier in the month we watched the slow-motion replays in horror of Florida’s Brandon Spikes alleged attempted eye-gouging Georgia’s Washaun Ealey after the whistle.

A study on sportsmanship by the Josephson Institute asked male and female high school athlete about questionable scenarios. They found:

• · 29% of males felt it was all right to “attack” a pre-existing injury of a top scorer on the opposing team (another 22% were unsure). Among female athletes, 66% knew such behavior was improper.
• · 69% of males and 55% of females felt it was all right for a hockey coach to put a player on the ice specifically to intimidate opponents and protect the team’s players.
• · 43% of males and 22% of females believed it was okay for a basketball coach to teach young players how to illegally push and hold in ways that were difficult for referees to detect.

One of the most unfortunate angles of this recent trend is its effect on young athletes. Far too often, kids look to athletes, both professional and collegiate, as role models. Obviously, not every athlete can be an ideal role model by example. As parents, it is important to talk your kids about this, and to let them know that not every athlete should be viewed as someone to look up to.

Here at i9 Sports, coaches teach weekly sportsmanship values to our players. They are: listening, respect, courtesy, positive attitude, being a team player, honesty & fair play, best effort and being a good sport. Instilling these values in our players from a young age ensures that our athletes will get the most out of their sporting experience, or what we call the ‘i9 Sports Experience.’ As a parent, you can be assured that you child is getting a fulfilling youth sports experience in which they will learn these core values and how the game is supposed to be played.

We are looking to expand our sportsmanship values. What are your suggestions as far as what some of i9 Sports’ new sportsmanship values should be?

Fall…the leaves are changing and it’s beautiful. Holiday season…a joyous time spent with family. And, unfortunately, flu season – a yucky time with sniffles, sneezes and sad little children. Many parents are concerned and this year’s flu season promises to be a tough one. No parent enjoys seeing their child suffer through sickness, so let’s do all we can to prevent with these everyday preventative measures recommended by the CDC:

Avoid close contact.
Avoid close contact with people who are sick. When you are sick, keep your distance from others to protect them from getting sick too.

Stay home when you are sick.
If possible, stay home from work, school, and errands when you are sick. You will help prevent others from catching your illness.

Cover your mouth and nose.
Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. It may prevent those around you from getting sick.

Clean your hands.
Washing your hands often will help protect you from germs.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth.
Germs are often spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth.

Practice other good health habits.
Get plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food.

We want to see the smiling faces, high fives, fist bumps and celebrations. We want to hear what you have learned through sports, what you love about sports and why you play sports. We want to know about Your Sports Experience!

That’s why we’ve launched the My Sports Experience Video Contest!

You could win $250 and a FREE Registration to an i9 Sports Program. Five finalists will receive an i9 Sports Prize Pack.

To enter the My Sports Experience Video Contest, simply record a video detailing your child’s youth sports experience. Then, mail your video to My Sports Experience Video Contest, 1723 S. Kings Avenue, Brandon, FL 33511. With your video, include your child’s first name, age, parent or legal guardian’s full name, city, state, phone number and email address. All entries must be received by December 31, 2009. CLICK HERE for official contest rules.

Check out the winner of the i9 Sports Raving Fans Video Contest – Sky in Chandler, Arizona. Congratulations to Sky for taking the $250 Grand Prize and a FREE Registration in an upcoming i9 Sports Program. CLICK HERE to see Sky’s video on the i9 Sports YouTube Channel.

So keep those cameras handy to capture those priceless moments and stay tuned to the i9 Sports Parents’ Blog for the latest news!

Somewhere during the course of his four years in various organized sports, my son became a serious competitor. He assumes responsibility and carries the outcome of the game on his small shoulders. No matter what sport he is playing he feels compelled to carry his team to victory. I can always tell when he’s feeling particularly anxious about the score because he starts wringing his hands and has a definite look of consternation on his face. Needless to say, the look on his face after a loss is heartbreaking.

What I can’t understand is how did this happen? We have always strived to keep youth sports in perspective. My husband and I rarely keep track of the score. We don’t expect our son to earn a college scholarship based on his sporting ability. Playing sports is simply an outlet for him to expend all that boundless energy that never seems to wane. Prior to each practice and game I make it a point to tell him, “Have fun!” After all, the goal of youth athletics is to encourage maximum effort, unselfish play, and plenty of fun.

One of the main reasons we as parents encourage our children to pursue some type of organized sport is because of the many life lessons that are learned as a result of participation. Winning and losing is a regular occurrence and if you look only at the scoreboard, not everyone can be a winner. Obviously, kids and their teammates put enough pressure on themselves to perform well and win the game. But, is it possible that I too unknowingly fostered this hyper-competitive spirit in my son despite my efforts to always be supportive and encouraging?

How our kids handle the loss of a game can influence how they deal with successes and failures in other areas of life. We’ve all witnessed the interesting display of professional athletes after tacking points onto the scoreboard. More than a simple high five, you will often see chest thumping and even some sort of ritual dance. After a loss however the behavior becomes much worse. Our kids see all that and because they look up to professional athletes they may inadvertently pick up some of their traits—good or bad.

Keep in mind, however, that we as parents also serve as role models for our children. Thankfully, at least while they’re still young, we are the most influential presence in their lives. According to Youth Fitness Magazine, parents should carefully examine their behavior and consider the following:

• Have I taught my child the right way to handle losing? How do I react when the team I’m rooting for—either my child’s team or my favorite collegiate or professional team—is on the losing end? Although emotional expression is a critical part of all athletic competitions, negative emotions and vulgar outbursts have no place in youth sports.
• Am I openly critical about the coaching, officiating or other teammates in front of my child? This is a serious matter that can bring division between players, parents and coaches. Openly criticizing the team in front of a child encourages them to believe they have a right to do the same. It also allows them to place the blame on others for lack of performance.
• Do I treat my child differently after a loss than after a win?
  Many athletes get their sense of personal worth from how they perform on the field. This can lead a child into an emotional roller coaster of exciting highs when they win, and depressing lows when they lose. Try to encourage your child after a loss, the same as you would after a win.

Think about these questions next time you’re watching a game. Make sure your child is always on the winning team, no matter what the scoreboard says.

Linde Hyder, i9 Sports Mom Blogger

Ahhh, remember the good ol’ days of playing freeze tag or hide n’ go seek out in the back yard? Or, shooting hoops in the driveway and somehow gathering a group of friends together? Maybe you just rode your bike on the sidewalk with a nearby friend after school just to get outside after being cooped up in a classroom all day.

It seems like those days are long forgotten. Most kids today have little or no opportunity to enjoy the simple past times we did when we were kids. Seems like everything now is ‘planned’, ‘organized’, and ‘arranged’. Play dates, camps, sports leagues are the norm as we strive to provide our children with as many opportunities as we can possibly find for them to experience what we did not. Rarely are they inspired to participate in a spontaneous game of football with the neighborhood kids or come up with some sort of creative activity to pass the time.

There isn’t much time for our kids to have “free time”: unstructured time, time to dream, time to discover — and yes, to even become a little bored once in a while. And entertaining themselves with a video game doesn’t count since that keeps them away from friends and families. If you’re unsure about whether your kids have too much going on, think about how many times a week your entire family sits down together at the dinner table.

Could it be, however, that in our efforts to create a better life for our kids, they are becoming “overscheduled”? Are their lives becoming more stressful under the pressure of all the activities in which they are involved? Numerous articles can be found on this subject that suggest kids may succumb to the pressures of being consistently shuttled from one activity to the next and experience stress-related psychosomatic symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, insomnia, and anxiety attacks.

So what can parents do to help their kids enjoy more free time?   Psychiatrist Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, author of  The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap, offers the following suggestions.

• Allow for ‘down time’. “Down time” is essential to a child’s creativity, all the way through high school. Children need to have unstructured types of play to develop their imaginations. Allow plenty of time for kids to hang out with their friends, use their imaginations, read books, and develop hobbies.
• Set limits. Pick and choose activities carefully, involving children in the decision-making process. Weigh the benefits against the investment of time and energy.
• Let kids choose their own activities. Avoid forcing kids to participate in an activity simply because it’s “good for them.”
• Look for signs of stress. A drop in grades, changes in sleeping or eating, an increase in physical complaints, complaints about or avoidance of activities: these can be signs that your child has taken on too much.
• Be unproductive for a change and allow time for play, that is, unstructured play. That doesn’t mean sitting in front of a television for six hours a day or playing video games. Take a walk, camp, read together or enjoy a board game. Enjoy children for who they are, not how they perform.
• Build relationships with yourself, your spouse, friends and significant others. Enjoy life outside of your children’s activities. Make family time a priority.

Linde Hyder, i9 Sports Mom Blogger

A couple of months ago I was at a soccer tournament in which my 9-year old son was playing. It was a regional tournament with kids traveling from various cities to attend and there were several teams competing in various age groups throughout the 2-day event. Kids as young as six years old all the way on up to 12- and 13-year olds were participating in a sport they clearly loved to play.

At one point during the tournament some of the parents—myself included—became particularly interested in a group of 7-year-olds competing in a game. Our kids were resting in between their scheduled competitions. What caught our attention, however, was not so much what was happening on the field as what was taking place on the sidelines.

There, just barely standing outside the white lines of the field was one very outspoken soccer mom. She wasn’t just offering gentle words of encouragement to her adorable little boy either. She was literally screaming at him, criticizing his every move, to the point of causing him to fowl because of inappropriate action towards another player. You can imagine the raucous that ensued when the official penalized her son as a result of her taunting; the ref then caught her wrath as well.

Meanwhile, spectators are staring at this spectacle as it unfolded which of course continued to go downhill. I—like the other parents watching—wanted this woman removed from the field. Each time she opened her mouth or encroached upon the white line the official warned her. After several warnings she was indeed ejected much to our relief.

Now, I ask you…is it any wonder that each year 20 million kids register for youth sports and 70 percent of them quit playing by age 13? (Source: The National Alliance for Sports) Is it any wonder that so many of today’s professional athletes display violent behavior towards a competing player during a game? Do ya’ think maybe parents have something to do with that?

I saw in a Google search of “sideline rage” where 52.9 percent of parents who filled out a questionnaire after watching a soccer game reported feeling angry at some point during the game. Sure, you expect to be upset or disappointed. But angry at a children’s game? Here are some other disturbing headlines I found:

• a Pennsylvania midget football game ended in a brawl involving over 100 coaches, players, parents, and fans.
• in Texas, a baseball coach who had been ejected from a game returned in his police uniform. He followed the umpire out of the parking lot and cited him for a spurious illegal turn.
• a disappointed Maryland father knocked down and kicked his son’s coach for leaving him off the All-Star team.
• a Florida baseball game for 7 and 8 year-olds ended with the parents brawling.
• in Oklahoma, a 36-year-old coach had to be restrained after choking a 15-year-old umpire who was making a few extra dollars umpiring a tee-ball game for 5 and 6 year-olds.

All of this reprehensible behavior further highlights the importance of the i9 Pledge, a commitment that should be followed by everyone involved in youth sports—coaches, players, officials, and parents. “I will do my best to model the sportsmanship-like behavior I wish my child to adopt, and to support the coach in making this the best possible experience for my child.” Isn’t that, after all, what the game is all about? Their experience; not ours.

Your child comes up to you after a game frustrated that he didn’t make the shot into the goal. You know what he could have done differently yet when you try to offer advice he tunes you out. Or, what usually happens with my son when I casually ask, ‘how was practice?’ I get the typical one-word response, “fine.”

The key to picking up the life lessons that are such an important part of youth sports is not necessarily acquired through parental advice. They have to be learned. How do you get your child to open up and talk to you? How do you get the conversation started?

First, remember that their sporting experience is just that—theirs, not yours. So, in order to get them to talk about their experience parents need to ask rather than tell. There is a trick to asking the ‘right’ questions that will get your child to open up and provide you with a more definitive answer than the typical one word answer like yes, no…or ‘fine’.

Ask open-ended questions:
· What was the most enjoyable part of today’s practice/game?
· What worked well?
· What didn’t turn out so well?
· What did you learn that could help you in the future?

Show you are listening:
All it takes sometimes is a simple nod of the head or a one-word comment from you to show your child you are listening.

Ask about life-lessons and character issues:
Be clear on your area of focus. “Any thoughts on what you’ve learned in practice this week that might help you with school?” For example they may learn that if they practice a particular drill over and over and over again, it becomes second nature to them. The same principle can be applied to learning multiplication tables or lines in a school play. It’s important to have in mind specific ‘teachable moments’ of a practice or game that you want to discuss with them, but resist the temptation to lead your children to the conclusions you want them to reach.

They will learn and apply life lessons more effectively, if they arrive at conclusions on their own. You can of course always share your experiences with them but remember it is their sporting experience. Be careful that you don’t dominate the conversation with stories about you when the goal is to help your child learn and create their own stories.

Let your children set the terms:
Immediately following a game is probably not the best time to start a conversation with your child as they are already keyed up emotionally. Look for signs that your kids are ready to talk keeping in mind that boys usually take a little longer to open up. If you stick with it they’ll eventually tell you their story because the simple fact is kids love talking about their sports—even with parents! Whether it’s a short or long conversation makes no difference. The point is to get them talking and enjoy the moment.

We want our kids to be the best they can be in all their endeavors, right? Always with the best intentions we correct our kids on what they could do better whether it’s in academics or sports. Sometimes, however, in our zest to help them improve we overlook the things they did well.

Often times my son will come up to me after practice and with obvious pride, ask if I saw that he juggled the ball 21 times. Instead of commending this achievement, I find myself pointing out something about his technique that if done correctly could enable him to touch the ball 30 or 40 times. After the words have already passed my lips, I realize—too late—my mistake. His enthusiasm is of course now deflated.

How does one carefully convey constructive criticism while at the same time ensure our children remain eager to apply the instruction and try harder? Have you ever noticed that you can tell your child to try a different approach to passing the ball more accurately and your words seem to fall on deaf ears? Yet, a friend’s parent can say the same exact thing during the next practice and your child actually listens and applies what he was told? Quite simply, it’s all in the delivery.

The next time you’re at your child’s practice, try out these tips from Liberty Mutual’s Responsible Sports Parenting Toolkit on how to provide ‘kid friendly criticism’.

• Avoid non-teachable moments. The ride home from a game ended by a costly mistake is not the time to offer instruction.
• Wait for privacy. People hear criticism better in private than in front of a crowd.
• Ask permission. If you ask, and your child prefers not to hear your criticism, honor that, and ask again later. (Do not use this technique in areas where your child needs an immediate lesson, such as poor sportsmanship or dangerous behavior.)
• Use if-then statements. To help your children feel in control when while you are criticizing, phrase your feedback in the form of an if-then statement. “If you call out to your teammates when you’re on the field, then they will know you’re open and pass you the ball.”
• Make a criticism sandwich. ‘Sandwich’ the criticism between a truthful, specific compliment on each side. The criticism is the meat, while the compliments are the bread. For example: “You’ve been really dribbling fast down the court. You seem to get to the net ahead of everyone else. Just be sure to pass the ball if you can’t make the shot. If you pass the ball and keep dribbling like you have been, you can help your team score.”

Is there a special technique you use to help encourage your child to improve their game or their studies? Leave a comment and tell us what it is.

Linde Hyder, i9 Sports Mom Blogger

We really enjoyed the i9 Sports Raving Fans Video Contest – the videos you sent in were fun, cute, action-packed and inspiring. Congratulations to Sky in Chandler, Arizona for taking the $250 Grand Prize and a FREE Registration in an upcoming i9 Sports Program. CLICK HERE to see Sky’s video on the i9 Sports YouTube Channel.

Congratulations also to our finalists: Arturo – Clearwater, FL; Jareem – Orlando, FL; Lorenzen – Houston, TX and Khaliq – Orlando, FL. Check out our YouTube Channel to see highlights!

We would like to thank everyone for their participation, and encourage you to keep the cameras rolling. That’s right…we loved what we saw and we are launching the My Sports Experience Video Contest!

Lights, camera, action…So keep those cameras handy to capture those priceless moments. Stay tuned for more details – visit the i9 Sports Parents’ Blog to be the first to find out the latest news and information about the contest and more!

If you’re like a lot of parents today your days are probably full of work, running errands and chauffeuring kids to and from school and then to and from practice. We tend to put our kids first, leaving little or no time for ourselves. We think about getting up a little earlier each morning and going for a walk or a run to get our bodies and our minds back into shape.

Research has confirmed that any amount of exercise is beneficial. Regular fitness activities help ward off heart disease, control Type II diabetes, reduce the risk of stroke and high blood pressure, and prevent excessive weight gain and obesity. A consistent fitness program can even help manage or prevent back pain and osteoporosis. And, those are just the physical benefits. Psychologically, exercising can improve self-esteem, help you cope with stress and ward off depression and anxiety.

Think you don’t have time to stay fit? Think again. What are you doing when you’re at the practice field with your kids? Probably just sitting there chatting it up with some of the other parents, right? Well, how about getting up out of your folding chair and moving around a little? Better still; leave the chair in your car so you’re not tempted to use it. Here’s some ideas on how you can make time for fitness despite your busy schedule.

If your child is school age

• Find a track or walking path near your children’s extracurricular activities. Keep a pair of sneakers in the car so instead of sitting in the bleachers at every sports practice, you can grab a half-hour walk or run.
• Get outside with your kids and play their favorite sports. Kids love to have their parents’ attention and what better way to get it than through an activity they love. Play a game of pick-up basketball or get over to the tennis court and hit some balls with them.
• Involve kids in your gardening. Weeding, planting, sweeping … these are all activities that use muscle groups and allow your child to take part in one of your hobbies.

If your child is a teenager

• Plan a fitness vacation with your teenager. There are tons of great alternatives to a traditional “sit on the beach” vacation. Look for walking tours, rafting trips, skiing adventures, bike trails, hiking adventures, etc.
• Train for a race with your teenager. Whether it is running, walking, or biking this is a way to share a common goal with your teenager while emphasizing the fun of exercise.
• If there are no races coming up, look for a parent/child tournament in your area involving an activity your child enjoys. A father/son golf tournament, mother/daughter doubles tennis are some common examples.

Many youth sports practices are held at local schools and more often than not schools have tracks. Here’s a great opportunity to sneak in a power walk or run. Ask another parent to go with you to keep you motivated. The idea is to get up and get in your own game.

Linde Hyder, i9 Sports Mom Blogger